i have these urges sometimes where i just want to go and do something creative, something daring, something different. i'll be here, on this computer and find myself searching for things that inspire me. i'll be watching music videos that are so rich in colour and so lovely to see. i'll discover artists that i've never heard of before and honestly fall in love. a swelling of the heart. i just want to burst out and do something. anything.
and then i log off the computer only to make the short journey to my small, draining room. and on the walk back, there are screaming juniors and yelling matrons and the presence of everything that reminds me that i can't just break out and go do what want to do. and i get a little sad and feel a little defeated and remind myself that one day i will be able to do all of these things that i so long to do.
and then i feel okay. so it's not so bad.
but i can't wait for the day when i can feel that freedom and live in those colours.
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