Hillsong United Concert

last week thursday i went with my lovely momma to the Hillsong Concert. it by far, was the most beautiful thing that i have ever experienced. i felt so lucky to be apart of that crowd and to experience it all with my mother. i have been looking forward to this concert since i heard about it in December and now i am left with an emptiness because it came and went by so quickly. the performances were mind-blowing. the words shared were honest and encouraging and filled with so much promise of more great things to come in life.

i think the thing that blew me away the most was the crowd. to be in a crowd of people who were there to show their love and devotion to Who and what i believe in left me awe-struck. i saw people lose themselves in the music and surrender themselves to whatever personal feeling of freedom they were feeling.

i feel like it is so easy to get lost, to forget where you are going and to forget who you are. any negativity that i carried with me into the venue was replaced by such a light. i want to feel it all again - the contradiction of losing myself in it all yet feeling as though i belonged exactly where i was. i have never felt as though i belonged anywhere as much i did in those three hours, in that venue, surrounded by a sea strangers.

i'm trying my best not to push my religion on anyone. personally, i am so put off by people when they do it. it's just too much. faith/religion is such a personal and sacred thing no matter what or who you do or don't believe in. but i can't express enough how beautiful it was to see people so connected with their faith/belief/religion. eyes closed, hands held high - completely surrendered. images of strangers will forever reside in my head. images of those very moments.

i am so happy.

 

by Susana-Cole King

“

‎”To those who consider me an idiot for not attending university, who stick up their noses at me with the assumption that I must be less intelligent sans a degree, let me tell you something: I consciously chose not to attend university, because I didn’t want to. You think that’s a lame excuse? People expect you to attend university, people expect you to lust for paychecks, to crave the competitiveness of the cooperate world, of being noticed, successful, respected because of the degrees you have framed on your walls, the money you have in the bank, the car you drive, the house you live in, the clothes you wear. People expected this of me, but I didn’t want any of those things, so I said “no.”

I said “no,” because I know myself, the way in which knowledge blossoms within me, and I have never needed the straight-jacket of schools to flourish. I am fascinated by things which cannot be contained to a room. Where do you think knowledge comes from, before it is brought into the classroom? From the world outside the school. Why not seek knowledge at its root, where it stems and grows, before it is cut and pruned into spoon-fed curriculum?

I said “no,” because I don’t need debt from school loans until I’m grown with children. I don’t need society’s approval, the pat of the back, the “welcome to the club of college educated people.” I am the wild, untamed spirit, I am the system’s worst nightmare, the nonconformist. I can’t tell you about four years bent over a desk, or any years bent over a desk, as I’ve never attended school, but I can tell you about places you’ve only dreamt of.

I said “no,” because I am a human being and I never know what day may be my last one on this earth. I wasn’t about to waste four years or more doing something I wasn’t even interested in, while waiting to make the kind of memories I would think about if I were bleeding out and dying. You don’t wait to do those kinds of things, you do them now, you do them today.

I said “no,” because I refused to be bullied into something I didn’t want or need, because I’m not coward, not afraid to think for myself. “No,” because I know that if you want to change the system, the world even, you must start with yourself and that’s the most difficult thing to do.”-

”

25 Things You Don't Have To Justify To Anyone

by Chelsea Fagen

1. Your job. Yes, even if you’re working something that other people condescendingly term “not a real job,” such as retail or service. If you have a job of any kind in this economy, you’ve already won.

2. Whether or not you have debt. If you managed to get out of your education debt-free, that doesn’t mean that your life is a financial walk in the park that you constantly have to be apologizing for. If you are in debt, it doesn’t mean you got a “worthless” degree and now deserve to be shamed for struggling to find work after you were convinced by your school that you were making a good decision.

3. The kind of food you enjoy eating, or why you enjoy eating. (No matter how “uncultured” or “boring” or “gross” someone else might deem your favorite food.)

4. Your decision to have children, or not have them, or to not be sure if you even want them.

5. Your dislike for marriage as an institution — and even if this one day changes, you don’t have to justify having grown as a person and moved into a new point of view. No one should be telling you “I told you so” over something as enormous as your decision to commit for life to another person.

6. Your sexuality, or your desire to experiment with it. You are allowed to have “phases” or “try things out” or be “confused,” and can take as much time as you want figuring it out.

7. Your gender presentation.

8. Your income level, and what you can and cannot afford. If you are having trouble keeping up with friends because you are not able to spend as much as them, there is no reason to risk financial ruin to try and keep up appearances.

9. Your body. The only person whom you need to talk to about with it is your doctor; everyone else can else can go kick rocks.

10. Whether or not you want to go out on a weekend night, or ten weekend nights in a row. The amount of time you spend in a bar or at a club does not directly correlate with how cool or worthy a person you are.

11. Your relationship status. If you’re single and happy, that’s great. If you’re in a relationship and happy, that’s great. If you’re either of those and not happy, you are more than allowed to be, and it’s no one’s business how you should “fix” it unless you ask them for their advice.

12. How many friends you have. One is enough. A hundred is enough. And there is no need to falsely upgrade acquaintances to “friend” status in your mind simply to fill out the ranks. A true friend is rare, and we don’t need to make it a competition for who has the most.

13. How much you drink when you go out, or if you drink at all, or why you choose not to drink if you do.

14. What kind of music you enjoy listening to.

15. What kind of an education you have or don’t have, or if you intend to go back and finish what you’ve started. If continuing your studies is something you want to do, good, but don’t be forced into saying that you want it just because it’s what people expect of you.

16. What you happen to be turned on by. If you like slash fiction, you like slash fiction. If you like people recording videos of themselves popping balloons, that’s awesome for you. It’s all good, and as long as you’re not hurting anyone, have at it.

17. Whether or not you know to cook, even if you’re a woman who “should” know how to do those things.

18. If you stay at home to raise your children, or if you hire someone to help you do so because you have a full-time career. Neither of those choices are more or less feminist, no matter what Elizabeth Wurtzel tells you.

19. How many people you have had sex with.

20. Whether or not you are a virgin, and whether or not you want to wait for marriage to lose said virginity.

21. Whether or not you believe in God, and what you think God actually is. (As long as you’re not imposing any of your beliefs on others, in which case we’d have a bit of a problem. But I trust that you’re cool and wouldn’t do that.)

22. Who you voted for and why. If you want to talk about it, you’re free to. But no one should ever make you feel like you have to tell them.

23. If you have sex on a first date, if you kiss on a first date, or if you won’t even hold hands on a first date. You’re allowed to do whatever you like when you’ve just met a new potential suitor.

24. Whether or not you choose to use dating websites.

25. Not knowing exactly what you want to be when you grow up, even if many people would already put you in the category of “grown up.” If you are considering going back to school, or changing careers, or moving, or starting a family, or doing charity work — it’s all good. And none of it has to be followed up with a longwinded explanation about why it’s a good idea and they should believe in you. If you need to justify what makes you happy to someone in your life, perhaps you should ask yourself why you even care about their opinion in the first place.

*obtained from a secret www

a swelling of the heart

i have these urges sometimes where i just want to go and do something creative, something daring, something different. i'll be here, on this computer and find myself searching for things that inspire me. i'll be watching music videos that are so rich in colour and so lovely to see. i'll discover artists that i've never heard of before and honestly fall in love. a swelling of the heart. i just want to burst out and do something. anything.

and then i log off the computer only to make the short journey to my small, draining room. and on the walk back, there are screaming juniors and yelling matrons and the presence of everything that reminds me that i can't just break out and go do what  want to do. and i get a little sad and feel a little defeated and remind myself that one day i will be able to do all of these things that i so long to do.

and then i feel okay. so it's not so bad.

but i can't wait for the day when i can feel that freedom and live in those colours.

Empty Eyes

A very sweet friend of mine who lives 1350km away wrote this essay based on a picture that I took of this sweet little boy. I was very touched and so honoured that it inspred her to write such a beautiful piece. I dunno if it's cos she is my friend but I think she has such beautiful writing skills. Thank you, my sweet friend, for letting me share this on my little blog.

Words: Empty Eyes

Written by: Lauren Fisher

***

You tell me the sky is the limit. Are you making mockery of everything I thought to be my reality? empty, cold boxes line the pallor of these streets. Still this hunger remains strife as I close my eyes, these eyes, which are numb to the world around me, a world which I have seen only on maps and in dreams. Flaunt the ideals of roller coasters and candy floss, families- they’re holding hands. warmth together with warmth, for not will they be cold tonight.


The echoing, empty slapping of five cent coins that fall into the tin shaded by my shadow, contradicts the soft beauty of raindrops upon my face, each one gliding down over my lips as if in slow motion.


The aggressive interruption of the train as it intrudes angrily upon my already broken silence. I hum a soft tune in the back of my throat politely, it’s the one she taught me, before.


As the gray clouds grow thicker, the night falls over me. “It’s time” they say as they all gather near. The broken windows, the pale green walls, the torn books that say ‘Sandy‘, ‘Dean’ or ‘Claude‘. The skins we wear, with bones seeping through. The scars on our bodies leave a trace of our past, Our futures painted in fog across our faces.


We can shut tight these eyes we were given, but much too heavy will they be in the morning, much too bright will the lights shine in through the tattered, once-white lace which drags along the cold cement floor. So we hold open our lead eyes, we push through the night, we turn to the darkness, we find solitude in the pity, we long for the waves of impurity to wash over us. We wait for the day, where we will no longer need strength to keep open our spheres through which we see this world.


Where someday our eyes will fit into the lens of a camera.


Where someday our eyes, will not be empty and sad.


Where someday our eyes may be filled with the beauty of the world we search for. Where the only language we know, is that from the warmth of the sun.